One thing I’ve always wished the Bible would show more of is emotion. That’s one of the reasons why I love the story of Joseph so much, especially at the end when his family comes to Egypt. There is definitely a lot of emotion shown by Joseph in those last few chapters of Genesis. However, sometimes I find that I have to be a bit imaginative when I’m trying to figure out what a Biblical character is thinking or feeling. Take Noah for example. The Scriptures merely tell us that God told Noah to build an ark, so he did everything that God told him to. Knowing that he wasn’t a robot but was human just like myself though, I often wonder what was going through his mind the whole time. Did he ever think things like, “There’s not a cloud in sight. Did I really hear God right or was it the sour goat cheese I had this morning?”
He must have thought something similar because God brought him up when I was thinking along those lines last week. I was not building an ark, but preparing for a classroom. You might think, what’s wrong with preparing for a classroom? Nothing, if you have one that is, or if you know for sure you’re going to have one. None of the above is true for me however. I have only applied for several teaching positions. I have not gotten hired or even interviewed. Besides, most of the schools I visited in the last two days have no positions available. Even as I started preparing, I kept thinking to myself, “This is ridiculous! It’s highly unlikely that I’ll get hired and if I don’t then all this time and all these materials will be wasted.” What’s more, after I left the second school I visited today, I felt God telling me to stop all my efforts and wait for him to move. My response? “Are you sure God? I have so many other schools I have not visited yet and what about other districts and you know that schools don’t hire on the basis of online application alone and I have to visit the schools and…”
You know the song, “Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus?” I was thinking about it tonight and thought, “No, it’s not sweet to trust in Jesus, it’s really hard!” Then I thought back to something else God had said when he told me to stop my searching. He told me to lay my Issac down. It threw me off guard for a bit because this wasn’t about my child or anything. Then I realized that just as Issac meant the world to Abraham, it means the world to me to have a teaching job again. God was asking me to surrender my grip on the thing that I’m clinging to and let him take control over it. Tonight, as I was thinking about how hard it was to trust in Jesus and how there could be anything sweet about it, I suddenly thought of the songwriter who wrote that song. I’m sure the composer had a few gray hairs in her head that spoke of years of watching as she “proved him o’er and o’er.” Abraham was certainly no spring chicken when God asked him to sacrifice Issac. He had had years of witnessing the faithfulness of God and hearing his voice. I may not have the years of Abraham, but I’ve definitely seen the faithfulness of God o’er and o’er. It still doesn’t come easily, and it was still with trembling hands that I put away my list of schools to stop by. However, God has never left a need of mine unmet, and I know he’s not about to begin to. I am confident that long before the last hair on my head turns gray, I’ll be able to truly know the sweetness of leaning my entire weight on the most faithful one!