I Can’t Help It!

I’ve always had a major issue with the disciple John, until today that is. The issue I had with him was that he called himself, “the one that Jesus loved.” Every time I read that, I wanted to strangle him. “So you don’t think Jesus loved any of the other disciples?” I wanted to ask him. “What makes you better than all the rest?” Even when my professor at Moody Bible Institute explained that John was just stating a fact and that he wasn’t comparing himself with anyone else, I still thought of John as a bit arrogant for saying that. After tonight though, I understand perfectly where he’s coming from.


I’ve talked at length about the love that I’ve received from my church. Tonight though, as I drove home after Bible study, I really began to connect the pieces and truly own the lessons that God has been teaching me through their demonstration of love. I was driving along as usual and then I suddenly had a deep rooted understanding that I was safe, I was cared for, and I was valued, of course first and foremost by God but not only that, by other people too! As that understanding grew, a light bulb went on in my head as I added the parts of the equation together. I thought, “Wait a minute, if I’m safe, cared for, and valued, why, that must mean I’m loved – a lot!”


You know what’s the first thing I wanted to do after I realized that in the core of my being? You got it! I wanted to tell everyone! I hesitated a bit because I thought it might sound stand-offish, but then I thought, “I’m so excited I have to share this! I can’t help it” Then I thought of the disciple John and I understood. He wasn’t arrogant, he just really gets it, and when you really get it, you can’t stop talking about it because it’s too amazing to keep to yourself.


I’m quoting the entire song “When I was Lost” because it’s the first thing that erupted from my mouth when I understood how loved I was in a fresh way tonight. It describes the exhilaration perfectly.


When I was lost you came and rescued me
Reached down into the pit and lifted me
O Lord, such love: I was as far from you as I could be
You know all the things I've ever done
But Jesus' blood has canceled every one
O Lord, such grace, to qualify me as your own

There is a new song in my mouth
There is a deep cry in my heart
A hymn of praise to Almighty God - hallelujah!
And now I stand firm on this Rock
My life is hidden now with Christ in God
The old has gone and the new has come - hallelujah!
Your love has lifted me

Now I have come into your family
For the Son of God has died for me
O Lord, such peace: I am as loved by you as I could be
In the full assurance of your love
Now with every confidence we come
O Lord, such joy to know that you delight in us

Many are the wonders you have done
Many are the things that you have planned
How beautiful the grace that gives to us all that we don't deserve
All that we cannot earn but is a gift of love

Hey wait a minute, this is the same song that erupted out of my mouth on the night of my salvation! I told you! Every time you start to understand this kind of extravagant love, you can’t help but open your mouth and shout, “I am the one Jesus loves!”

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